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Steering clear of maladies that put ship trips in troubled waters.
Never go on a cruise with statisticians. They know that, statistically speaking, there are as many things that can go wrong with a voyage as can go right. You might spill mango chutney on your tux shirt at the captain's party. You might get an uneven tan. You might wake up bobbing alone in the Caribbean Sea, trying to convince yourself those circling fins belong to dolphins.
But the truth is that most problems on cruise ships are relatively minor annoyances, especially if your general disposition is positive and, um, flexible. There is, however, the occasional horror story about Homeric tribulations, truly epic bouts of sea sickness, cabins worthy of a Stephen King novel, demonic zombie tablemates selling Amway products. They are the plagues, rare but real, that can make you wish you'd spent the time and money at the Grand Canyon. Or even New Jersey....
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