Well yesterday Joe got a call from the hospital they have been trying to push Dad out and in reality he really was healthy enough to go we were just trying to buy a few more days for him to get a little stronger. So Joe told them we chose a rehab, he kinda goofed he was supposed to say we liked one but wanted to check another. Well sure enough poof at 3pm they called and said the ambulance will be here at 4pm to move your father. Paula and Joe had not told Dad yet and I'm so furious that this happened because trust is something so important when you are dealing with an elderly father who has been victimized by his daugher. *second marriage* not my sister. I'm not mad at my family I'm angry at these social workers with all of the letters behind their names that don't even consider what such a bone head move does to an elderly person. And sure enough all h e lll broke out. Anyway, Joe went and met the ambulance at the rehab. Paula was getting calls from Joe about how angry Dad was. By the time Paula arrived he was livid telling her that he was in his right mind and no one had a right to do this to him. He was telling her he was going to call the police and that they would get him out of there. Joe was dissolved he was so upset. He is not the same fighter that Paula and I are. He was really broken up that Daddy was yelling at him and telling him off. Now mind you my brother and sister did not call me last night to tell me this. Anyway when Paula got there she took it for a little while. His health is better and his fight is back and so she decided time to talk turkey. She laid into him and said listen old man. You can't walk, you can't eat yet, you can't go home to your apartment alone like this and if you don't stop acting like this you are never going to be aloud to live alone again. You have a choice you can decide to stay here until we can get you eating again, and your legs strong enough for you to walk with a walker or you can lie in that bed and die there if that is what you choose. She told him that Joe and she and I have worked our butts off working with all of the agencies to get him well and now that he is well, he can't just go home and lie in a bed and not move. So he yelled at her, you get your sister on the phone right now. She sked what sister thinking he meant the piece of work who got him into this situation? He said as sarcastic as he could you get your sister Judy in Colorado on the phone and you tell her to get home here and get me out of here. I just about dissolved when I heard that. She looked at him and said if you think I'm tough you already know Judy is tougher, she isn't going to move you until she is sure you can take care of yourself so cut the nonsense and get it through your head that you need rehab, you need to strengthen your arms and legs and you need to eat and then you can go home I promise. He shut her out. She said Daddy I promise, Joe promises, Judy promised you if you can't go home alone we will take you to one of our homes you are not here forever this is for rehab. He refused to talk to her. Then she said again, Daddy I promise you. He looked at her and said, there are priests upstairs I saw them when I came in you go get them they will say I am sane and can make my own decisions. There really were priests there making the rounds. LOL She really got a little ticked then and said listen old man. You keep fighting because this is the most life we have seen in you in over a month. This is exactly what we want from you to fight fight fight but stop using your energy beating up on Joe and me, because we aren't doing this or anything else to hurt you, we are doing this to help you. He closed his eyes and said I want to go home. So she also told him he can go home but only if he works really hard and that when they come for rehab and they come for medication or whatever they tell him to do he can't lie in the bed and say no or he is destined to remain in the bed for the rest of his life. So then an orderly came in to take his picture and when he did daddy stuck his tongue out at him. OMG Paula said you are worse than my kids and grandkids cut it out be nice or they will think you are insane. That is a typical Daddy move. I can remember him having an argument with my mother and not saying much, but when she turned her back he stuck his tongue out at her. LOL . Although Paula and Joe were getting it double barrel they were happy to see how much spunk he had. He wouldn't talk to her anymore, remember we have babied him for six weeks, so after a while she kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight. It was after 10 she said. And Joe stayed for a while and left. I do understand they were both wiped out, she said she cried herself to sleep she was so tired, but boy I am upset not to have been told also. I begged her to please keep me in the loop explaining while she is doing most of the hard work, I'm hurting here also because I'm so far away and feel helpless to see for myself what is happening. She said I know I'm sorry. Wait till I get my hands on Joe. Anyway today the doctor was there and the physical therapist. They are putting together a plan for his rehab which I believe starts tomorrow. When Paula walked in someone she knows that works there was talking to Daddy and as she left he said goodnight to the person and thanked her. Then he got fidgity and Paula called for the nurse and it was clear he needed his bed changed. So as the aid and the nurse were leaving Daddy said thank you I feel much better now. Paula said she was so shocked she went back out of the room to check the door tag and the nurse asked her why? She asked is that really my father in there letting you take care of him and actually saying thank you? The nurse laughed she said he had been very cooperative today. Daddy has given the nurses a run for their money in the hospital and so cranky. It made it so much more difficult for us to get him the quality of care at times because everyone got tired of being yelled at. And the funny part he is a very mild mannered man usually, although we call him oscar the grouch he really isn't he is a kind sensitive person. I truly feel deep down somewhere he felt he needed to maintain control over his care even in his bouts of being out there. He wasn't able to because he was not competent at times yet somewhere deep down inside he knew what was happening and trying to control things. Even at his worst we could see he had bits and pieces of the puzzle but couldn't quite put it all together. According to Paula he was totally lucid today. His best day since his initial accident. She told me maybe having someone hit him with the reality of the situation helped. Of course not having pnoumonia, and getting good nutrition also a huge impetus. He wasn't upset with her anymore at all. He talked a little and then he said Paula they haven't brought me my dinner tray. She said she broke down at the moment, she didn't know whether to cry, sing, or dance. She said Daddy for 6 weeks you haven't been eating that is why we had to ask them to put a feeding tube in, do you understand that? We needed to get you through the illness since you couldn't eat so we had to do that or you wouldn't be here. He said I know Paula, I am in my right mind again you know. She asked him are you hungry? He said well I could have a cup of coffee and a jelly doughnut. OMG sweeter words were never spoken. He told her he ate 2 dozen jelly doughnuts a week at home. She replied well when you go home you will have one dozen jelly doughnuts but if you are eating your meals we will go and get you more. He said OK. So she called the nurse who had no order for any food or drink so it has been noted that tomorrow this must be acted on immediately and in fact I asked Paula to call the gastro doctor to confer with his doctor to make it happen. He was getting water in the hospital, but that order didn't transfer with him. She told him more than likely in the beginning it would be ice cream, jello, pudding and shakes and drinks. No doughnuts yet. He said well OK but I could have something maybe tomorrow? She told him it is music to our ears to hear him ask for food and drink and she would make it happen. Absolutely fantastic news. Hopefully tomorrow will be the day we can start fluids again, and maybe even a little soft food. The gastro doctor when he conferred with us was not sure about placing the tube. They kept asking us to change the code to a DNR. We said no, when Daddy was admitted he said he wanted to live and that they were to take all measures to save him. And we felt we would only reconsider our decision if the pnoumonia could not be cleared. So the gastro doctor said well if whoever is up above decides that Dad wakes up one day and asks for food, it will be OK to start feeding him gradually and we would just discontinue using the tube but leave it in place for 6 months minimum just in case. We agreed. He did warn us that day may never happen that he may be so weak and dependent on the G feedings that he might not want to eat. We told him we know our father and we had to give him this chance, begged him to place the tube because we believed that he would ask for food if he could lick the pnoumonia. Now we also know he has to eat enough to provide the vital nutrients he needs, so that is an issue we will have to deal with as he is allowed more food. Now we will see if he can strengthen his arms. He has to be able to get those arms moving and strong again in case he needs a wheel chair which is where I see this going. If he is going to be in a chair he has to be able to at least get in and out of it. The feeding tube will remain in place in case he has any relapses for at least 6 months they have told us, but at least if he is eating that is step one and we can discontinue using it. The strengthening is step 2. Just getting him out of that hospital bed is the most important thing I'm afraid he will develop clots although he has the hose on and is on a tiny bit of blood thinner, until he can get mobile some. He has to get out of that bed! The mind is almost 100 percent back, the will is there again and the fight. He is understanding of our desire to get him out of there so maybe he will work with the occupational and physical therapists. I sure hope so. Hearing that he was yelling for me to be called to help him broke my heart. In the last 6 weeks he hasn't been able to remember where I live. When I would ask him he would say far far away. But now he remembers I live in CO. Heck of a time to remember when he is madder than heck, thinks we have done something horrible to him and begging for me to go to him. He told me when I explained the rehab the first time, that his neighbor was tricked by family, told him that they were taking him to rehab and then they never took him out of the nursing home. I promised him that was not our intent but I know he isn't quite sure right now and that is hard on me to think he doesn't trust us. Boy, I've read all the articles about having an aging parent and up to now it was never an issue. When this hits you it is so difficult emotionally to have your parent begging you to do something you know is not in their best interests, so hard. We have come a long way and I pray it continues to improve over the next weeks, but we are realistic it could take months if he works really hard to get him where he needs to be, or we have other decisions to make. I won't leave him there, that is a given, he will be in one of our homes. I did it for Joe and I will do it for my father. Whatver it takes it will be done that is just the way it is going to be and no one can convince me not to make this decision, should it come down to where we end up. It is just something I feel strongly I have to do and want to do. My siblings are great and strong, but I'm the best equipped emotionally to do this. Thank you all for thinking of me. And thank you for not noticing my spelling errors I can't even find the right keys tonight I need some sleep. I'll check back when I can with news.