I just returned from my cruise aboard the Carnival Victory (2/26 Ã¢â‚¬â€œ3/5). I can confidently say that I will NEVER sail with Carnival again!!! ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s hard to decide where to begin my horror storyÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ FOOD: The food was HORRIBLE. Everyone says you gain 10 lbs on a cruise but I lost 2 lbs and my SO lost 5 lbs. We were actually HUNGRY when we went to sleep the first four nights! We ate in the main dining room the first 2 nights. The main entrees usually included one beef product. SO and I ordered the prime rib (although it wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t called Ã¢â‚¬Å“prime ribÃ¢â‚¬Â both nights because everything else on the menu sounded unappealing. The cuts of meat used on the ship were cheap, in my opinion. My parents were also on the cruise and my dad sent his prime rib back because it had so much fat on it. I cut the fat off of mine on both nights and there was hardly anything left. The salads were very small and the desserts were completely TASTELESS! IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve had better cake out of a betty crocker box. We decided to try the Ã¢â‚¬Å“alternativeÃ¢â‚¬Â dining option on the 3rd day and we were shocked to see the EXACT same food on the Ã¢â‚¬Å“alternativeÃ¢â‚¬Â buffet that was being served in the dining room that night!!! It was no alternative at all!!! Carnival advertises multiple dining options but THAT IS A LIE! The other Ã¢â‚¬Å“restaurantsÃ¢â‚¬Â Carnival talks about are actually walk up windows that do not run all the time. If fact, there are some times when all there is to eat is PIZZA! I go on a cruise and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m stuck eating pizza? It wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t even great pizza! The Ã¢â‚¬Å“BBQÃ¢â‚¬Â never made steak or chicken sandwhichs like it advertised, it only made hamburgers and hotdogs! The Chinese wok was rarely open. I had excellent ham ONE night but other than that, I starved!!!!! We asked others if they liked the food and it was 50/50. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know, maybe I expected too much by thinking I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to eat pizza all week! CRUISE DIRECTOR: My hatred for this man is very high. SO and I either attended the Ã¢â‚¬Å“travel talkÃ¢â‚¬Â briefings or watched them on tv so that we knew what was going on. During DanaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s (the cruise director) travel talk about grand cayman, he instructed everyone with an excursion before 10am to meet in the Caribbean lounge. He Ã¢â‚¬Å“PROMISEDÃ¢â‚¬Â that we would be on the first tender boats off the ship so that we were on time. SO, myself and my father arrived at 7:20. The shipped docked at 7:30. Our excursion was at 8:30 but we were suppose to check in at 8:00. I did NOT book the excursion through Carnival. We waited and waited until 7:50 when (the most annoying) social host came in and said everyone could proceed to the gangway!!!! Of course, that meant we were behind everyone who had been lining up on the stairs for the last 40 minutes!!! I went up to the social host and showed him my receipt for the excursion and asked if I shouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t be put on one of the first boats off. He said just go down stairs. Well, guess what? We were on the 3rd boat off and we were 20 mins late for the tour and the entire tour was cut short by 20 mins for me and everyone else on it. And I was MORTIFIED when I arrived at Captain Marvins for the tour because I was so late and everyone knew I was holding it up. I complained to the pursers desk when I got back on the ship and found that the pursers desk doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give a shit about anything. They took my complaint and said they would forward it to the cruise director. 2 days went by and I kept calling and asking what was going on. Finally, they said the cruise director had responded and said that I must not have been in the Caribbean lounge at the right time and that if I had booked the excursion through carnival, that I was have been assured a full tour because the carnival tour operators wait for all guests!!! I couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t believe it!!! First of all, I WAS in the lounge at the right time, in fact we were early and one of the first people there. Second, he completely ignored the fact that he promised during his travel talk to get us off the boat first and then we were shoved behind everyone else. Third, he basically said oh well because I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t book the excursion through carnival so he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give a shit! EXCURSIONS: My parents took the grand cayman island tour and it didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t make all the stops listed. I went to the shore excursion desk to complain and was told that was just how the tour was!!! When I went back to my room the tv was on to the cruise directors travel talk about grand cayman and as luck would have it, he described that exact tour stop-by-stop. So I marched back to the shore excursion desk and complained again. Then they wanted to know the bus number my parents were on. I told them they didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know that and that I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have looked at the bus number either. Then I was told without the bus number there was nothing they could do! Basically I threw a fit and finally got him to say heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d look into it further. Two days later I noticed a 10% discount for the tour on my sail and sign card but they never called me or sent me a letter. I also told them that the dolphin swim in Costa Maya only had 1 dolphin for their group when the other groups had 3 dolphins and the same amount of people and they said Ã¢â‚¬Å“thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just how it isÃ¢â‚¬Â. They didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t care one bit if people were unhappy. HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE. LIDO DECK: 1/4 of the chairs on the decks were Ã¢â‚¬Å“savedÃ¢â‚¬Â by beach towels which is against carnivalÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s policy. People were walking around and around looking for chairs. I finally had to carry one all the way around the boat! People would put towels on chairs and never come back. I thought that Carnival should have made an announcement that they were going to collect the towel in 15 minutes. I suggested this to the purser and was told that carnivals policy was to post the Ã¢â‚¬Å“no savingÃ¢â‚¬Â policy and thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s all! It was a sold out cruise and people were having to sit on the floor. Another incident were carnival didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give a shit. CROWD: ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a party ship, plain and simple. I asked on various boards beforehand if it was, but the bottomline is, people go on carnival to drink themselves silly. We had wine spilled on us, etc. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve never seen so many middle-age drunks in all of my life. It was the worse experience of my life. I will never go on a carnival ship again. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m sure IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m forgetting some things because I am so flustered right now. BUYER BEWARE Ã¢â‚¬â€œ carnival does not care one bit about you once you buy your ticket.