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DH is facing a new obstacle

K

KathyC

Guest
#1
On last report I told you how things were status quo for us: nodules in the lungs had no "significant" changes & there were no changes in the lesions on the spine. Initially dr said he would wait till next summer for further updates but after a routine checkup last month (blood work was all good) he decided to be on the safe side & wanted to look at the lungs now & the spine in Dec. Nurse called this a.m. & although there is no change in the lungs the CT did pick up a spot on the upper abdomen; internist contacted our oncologist & now a biopsy is on order. Bad news is that we have to wait til Nov 3rd as it seems there has to be quite a team of people to do this procedure & it took that long to get everybody needed on the same schedule. As anybody who has to go thru this knows, waiting is extremely hard. I always try to find a bright spot with things like this & for me the bright spot is that whatever this is, it was NOT there in the CT last Feb so at least whatever this is, we have found it early. And I may be trying to stretch the bright spot with this one--but ALL of his previous biopsies from prostate (they were so sure it was cancer) to the bone biopsy of spine (they thought it was stage 4)--everything has come back negative! The scary part is that DH has been having some stomach issues these past few wks which we have attributed to his severe Crohn's but the last Remicade treatment in Sept did not seem to help very much & his next treatment is not til Nov 7. We are both nervous & will be on edge til we get the results but we will try to stay positive. Iowa City said last Jan that he did not have cancer yet but they expect the spinal lesions to become cancer. Apparently some people develop "pre-cancer" spots & although cancer can develop directly in the spine it usually comes from another source. We seem to live on the edge waiting for the other shoe to drop--I'm just not ready for that shoe to drop yet. If it does, I hope to have the strength that Mariposa does. Will keep my crusie addict family updated when we get the results.
 
P

popcorn

Guest
#2
Hugs! The waiting game is horrid! Good luck and thanks for keeping us all informed.

Liz
 
M

MARIPOSA

Guest
#4
Hi Kathy. Odd isn't it that the medical team has this "STAT" requirement for us to run to the hospital and get tests done, raising our anxiety levels which automatically raises our white blood counts GEEZ~ and then we have to WAIT till they can fit us in for the next step. I jumped through hoops to get all the required tests done and now have to wait till Nov 6 for my conference with the oncologist to find out what the next strategy is.

What really surprises me is that this time I'm in no real hurry to hear the results. I know that whatever they have planned for me will be grueling and I just make sure I'm taking more naps now, kinda like storing up some energy for the onslaught! LOL Meanwhile I'm making my list of physical projects that I can tackle now while I am able. Wonder if we should pre-cook our whole Thanksgiving dinner or go out and find a Christmas tree and start decorating it next week??? LOL LOL My sister suggested that I get myself a Mowhawk now (she loved it) and then I'll be able to enjoy it for quite a while before I loose it all. Good idea, but it's starting to get cold around here so think I'll skip that ritual this time around and keep my hair as long as possible.

Hang tough kiddo. Hugs, Mari
 
M

MARIPOSA

Guest
#5
PS Kathy. The afternoon that I got the news of my relapse I quietly sat in the parking lot of the hospital for quite a while and then DECIDED ~ this is rotten news, now I feel rotten, so what can I do to encourage myself right this minute??? My solution ~ go shopping. LOL I headed straight to Target and bought myself that pair of warm, furry slippers that I had spotted a few weeks earlier. Now whenever I'm feeling 'down' I go put them on and they remind me that I CAN do something nice for myself, if I choose to. I'm now ready for that frozen toes phenomenon that accompanies my own chemo tx (treatment). I learned this trick of how to encourage myself when I went through chemo last time. On the days when I felt emotionally at my lowest I crawled out of bed, got dressed and drove myself to the men's tie shop and bought myself a bright, pretty scarf to cheer myself up.

You could buy yourself a lovely new pen and journal to make your notes as you track your hubby's medical progress or jot down those special moments (I call them Bits of Joy) before you forget them. Or a pretty new bag to haul around all that crap that we need to keep close by whenever we head off to the hospital. Or a gorgeous new BIG mug to use as you sit up late at night or early in the morning doing Google searches as you track new leads. Maybe try a special new kind of tea that looks especially yummy.

I just bought myself a whole new, very cute, note book system with dividers for all my categories ~ lab/test results, emails, research. I've labeled this one 'Round 3". (round 1 was my original lumpectomy/partial mastectomy, round 2 was that benign lump they removed last May, this time is round 3)

Get creative my friend. Those little treats are sooo important to your own mental health.
Hugs, Mariposa
 
B

BostonsJ

Guest
#6
Oh Kathy I know the waiting is awful. I'll pray that this is not worst case and that this is a scare only. Hugs....
 
K

KathyC

Guest
#7
Mariposa you truly are an inspiration to all of us; I have been near tears all day due to the fear that the other shoe is about to drop on us. I try my hardest to be optimistic about things but if we get bad news from this biopsy I don't know if I can face this in the same manner that you do. I went thru this with my mother when she had breast/pancreatic cancer & my DH was so strong for me; my fear is that I won't know how to be strong for him. Your suggestion about keeping a journal is a great idea & the "Bits of Joy" is absolutely awesome. You have helped & continue to help so many of us on this board with your reassuring words & fantastic suggestions--I so wish there was more I could do for you. Wishing the very best for you as you face your new challenge.
 
D

debowah

Guest
#8
Kathy....Prayers for strength and good news. You are correct about Mariposa, she seems to have tremendous reserves of personal courage and wisdom. A gift from God.
 
S

S&M in Pgh

Guest
#9
I agree with Mariposa - LIVE for NOW. Randy Pausch said it best in his Last Lecture - are you a Tigger or are you and Eeyorre?
 
C

Cruise cutie

Guest
#10
Hugs from us Kathy.. keep faith ,and know we all care, and want it to be you have the best options and we'll be here for you..Joanne
 
L

Lisa63

Guest
#12
Kathy, please know that you and DH are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard the waiting game is, and you have us all here to support you. =hug