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Good Morning, Ladies...

Discussion in 'Know Before You Go' started by JeffStern, Jul 14, 2002.

  1. Connie Cebee

    Connie Cebee Guest

    Come on gals, keep em coming, move it, move it, move it, your on a roll!

    God crated man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before creating a materpiece.

    Connie
     
  2. Toto

    Toto Guest

    Too funny you all, looks like I missed it, but no worrys, I will catch up on the next round.
    :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
     
  3. Christy L

    Christy L Guest

    Two blonde men were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!" The second blonde guy got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON! The nails that are pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!"

    What about the blonde couple that gave birth to twins?
    Her blonde husband is currently out looking for the other man.

    Why don't men wear tight underwear?
    It cuts off circulation to the brain!

    Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
    When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."
    When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh

    Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
    A mental hospital.

    Why does a man have a clear conscience?
    Because it's never used

    How do you confuse a man?
    You don't have to - they're born that way

    What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
    One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee

    How do we know men invented maps?
    Who else would make an inch into a mile?

    Why do men prefer blondes?
    Men always like intellectual company
     
  4. 2TallMike

    2TallMike Guest

    The new test results released yesterday, by Canadian scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
    The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men;


    gained weight,

    talked excessively without making sense,

    became overly emotional,

    couldn't drive,

    failed to think rationally,

    argued over nothing,

    refused to apologize when wrong.

    No further testing is planned.
     
  5. JeffStern

    JeffStern Guest

    Today's woman puts on:
    Wigs,
    Fake eyelashes,
    False fingernails,
    Sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams,
    Living bras,
    Various pads that would make a linebacker envious,
    Has implants and assorted other surgeries ...








    ... and then she complains that she cannot find a "real" man ...
     
  6. JeffStern

    JeffStern Guest

    Today's woman puts on:
    Wigs,
    Fake eyelashes,
    False fingernails,
    Sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams,
    Living bras,
    Various pads that would make a linebacker envious,
    Has implants and assorted other surgeries ...








    ... and then she complains that she cannot find a "real" man ...
     
  7. 2TallMike

    2TallMike Guest

    Welcome back to Corregador General McArthur. :grin
     
  8. Maw

    Maw Guest

    Go! Go! Go! Red and Judi on a roll.
     
  9. 2TallMike

    2TallMike Guest

    Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were. The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!" The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!" They were still arguing when the train hit them
     
  10. Boston's J

    Boston's J Guest

    why do women need those things?

    Wigs,
    Fake eyelashes,
    False fingernails,
    Sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams,
    Living bras,
    Various pads that would make a linebacker envious,
    Has implants and assorted other surgeries ...


    Because the men want their women to look like the movie stars even though they aren't real. Then they complain that they take too long in the bathroom and too long to dress.

    What is real man? Someone who likes me in my T-Shirt and Jeans without make-up as much as he enjoys me in my formal attire. Someone who loves the way I look in the morning even with my hair tousled knowing he probably had something to do with that look. Someone who makes me laugh and makes my days brighter just by saying hey baby I love you and not being afraid to say it. Someone who loves me with curves and makes me feel attractive because he doesn't think all women must be a total stick.

    That's what a real man is in my eyes and I'm glad I finally found one.
     
  11. Tread

    Tread Guest

    I DARE you to argue with that Mike! By the way, if you haven't seen it, read the Henry Kissinger post about the summit - - - 'nuf said B)
     
  12. 2TallMike

    2TallMike Guest

    Awwwww shucks ma'am, shuffle, shuffle.
     
  13. Boston's J

    Boston's J Guest

    That's OK Mike you can tell all the jokes you want to. I know you are just joking which is kool. Jeff and Tread and UPS Jim great sports. So as you wish either let the games resume or..........to the summit we go! And I know the rest of you are real men too because you all seem to have lovely ladies that adore you also.

    Judy
     
  14. red stripe

    red stripe Guest

    well guys... are you ready to call this quits? I see that Jeff has re surfaced at last... and there were a lot of "no shows"
    What is it to be?... I know that this is asking a lot of you...but THINK! :grin
     
  15. 2TallMike

    2TallMike Guest

    OK Red, truce? But it was a wonderful way to spend a lovely Sunday morning. :lol
     
  16. Boops

    Boops Guest

    truce all, or
    <img src=http://www.cruise-addicts.com/forums/download.php/1,260641,3712/arg-breakfast-coffee-sm-url.gif> :grin Thanks for all the entertainment.
     
  17. red stripe

    red stripe Guest

    Darn!... OK... but I just have to post this first :grin
     
  18. red stripe

    red stripe Guest

    . If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
    Because G-d is still trying to come up with a better man :grin


    Where is the General,...Jeff, the fearless leader?
    Jeff, I see that some of your good buddies have folded...packed it in...tossed in the towel...raised the white flag etc. so when are you coming out of hiding so we can talk terms?
    Henry K. posted above, I think he was trying to save you from yourself...and Jackie :grin

    Ali...nice picture :lol
     
  19. Judy Like your answer on why women need those things :thumb
     
  20. Einstein

    Einstein Guest

    Boston J ....... U Go Girl Your words say it ALL and U and Mike finding each other is Very Special znd something you can both hang onto for the rest of your life. Believe Me I Know from 1st Hand Experience. :) .
     

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