Oh R8derfan.........I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Please accept my most sincere sympathies and condolences. I never know what to say at a time like this, but know my prayers are with you and your family.
Please accept our feeble words of comfort during this terrible time. The loss of a loved one, even though expected, is never easy. And, it it good that it is so difficult, as the greater the pain, the greater the impact they made on your life. God Bless your mother, you, and your family.
r8derfan, Just reading your message made my heart ache for you. I just went through this last month with my Mom. I wasn't lucky enough to get to say goodbye though. Mom got her greatest wish, to remain independently in her own home until the end. She only suffered for a few hours after her heart attack. I pray that God will give you the comfort and strength that you need to face the days ahead and that you draw closer to your family during this stressful time of grieving. It's soo hard to make good decisions when all you want to do is curl up under the covers like a child and cry yourself to sleep. I still have that strong urge to pick up the phone and call her every day and tell her what her kids are doing to settle her estate and to ask her advice on what she wants done with certain items. She would be proud of all of us that there has been absolutely no bickering and how close we have all become. But I'm sure she knows.
I've been to San Diego twice now since her death. I think the drive up 101 was good medicine for my soul and gave me a chance to relax before I headed back here to face the real world again. r8derfan, I live in San Jose. pls PM me if you end up driving down there for a few days and want some company. There is still so much left to do at her house. In fact, I can let you know the next time I head back down there myself if you want to ride along.
I am so sorry to read of your loss. When my Dad passed away a very dear friend sent me this poem. I found so much comfort in it that I have shared it with many others. I still find comfort in it and I hope that you and your family will take some comfort from it too. Please accept my deepest sympathy and sincere condolences on your tremendous loss.
And That is Dying
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"