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I'm back in CO temporarily

Discussion in 'The Safe Harbor' started by BostonsJ, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. BostonsJ

    BostonsJ Guest

    Well I made it back to CO for a while. I'm not sure how long I'll be here I'm on pins and needles waiting on phone calls right now. The house, well we got it to a point we were happy with. It looks really nice. I have painted, stained all the hardwood floors they still need poly, cleaned until my hands are raw. I got blinds in all of the windows. It looks really great. We cut down many trees and trimmed all the trees in the yard to let more sun in, and then we spent 2 days chipping. We rented a chipper. It was hard work but it is now done. But in the spring I am looking at a new roof and siding and windows. I found out my nephew had a guy living with him in the house and that there was a fire. Of course I had to find out by finding the damage. There was black soot and candle wax all over the windows and wood shingles on the side of the house. When I went into the room above, the second bedroom, I found black soot everywhere and burn marks going up and sides of the wood stained windows and on the sill. My sister was there and she was furious. I'm lucky he didn't burn the house down, it looks like he had a good candle fire going there. I had to sand it all down and made the repairs .

    I did not rent the house. For now, it will remain empty and my Brother Joe is doing lots of more work, going to gut the bathroom and put in a new one for me. There is room to expand it so that will be done. The first thing he will do is put a bathroom on the first level. Joe is currently living in an apartment over my grandmother just to have someone there for her and to help her with the heat in the winter. But, in the spring he and his wife will move in. In the meantime we talked about a lease/purchase agreement. My sister and brother and I have decided that if Daddy can't live independently either Joe will move into the house sooner than the spring and bring Daddy there with him, or I will move home and take care of him. We refuse to put him into a nursing home so if I have to put my life on hold for a while I will to ensure he has some quality of life. We have all made a promise to him so whatever we all have to do we will get it done. I guess things happen for a reason and my home seems to be the insurance policy we need to know that Dad has a place to go, we modeled one room for a bedroom for him on the ground floor just in case and a partial bath with shower stall will go in soon. It will all work out, but first we have to get him strong again. God sure works in mysterious ways. My brother and sister and I have always been close, but this has brought us to a place in our adult lives that made that bond even stronger. You know when you have your own families and interests and lives, live in different areas, times go by and sometimes you just forget to take the time for one another. Between the three of us working in the house and spending our time with Daddy over the last two weeks, it has all become really clear just what kind of sibling respect and love we have for one another. My brother's wife was right there also. She is more like a sister to us than a SIL. When one was having a bad emotional time the other one stepped up to the plate. We all have different personalities and strengths. I was the bad cop. I had to tell Daddy that we had decided to take over his care from his daughter from the second marriage and get his consent. And in front of her own brother and my siblings gave her a choice, back out now on our request, or the police will be called. And her brother stood behind me 100 percent. He is a good kid. Daddy told my sister Paula I'm the bossy one. LOL Daddy doesn't like bossy people but he told Paula that sometimes in order to get things done you have to be bossy and take control. He said I'm a tornado, boy he said, she arrived and before you know it she is getting it all done. LOL. But then he said as soon as she leaves I'll find a way to get out of here. By the time I left I made it clear I would ensure that he was cared for at home, with me or Joe and he had nothing to worry about. It made me laugh for him to think he just had to wait for me to get on a plane and he would try to sign himself out of the hospital. He did tell me today he appreciates what I had to do to get things fixed though. He said I love you Judy I know you had lots of work to do to fix everything. In those first few days I was taking no prisoners. We decided how it was going down and anyone who got in our way had me to answer to. I don't mince words with the likes of the half-sister, she heard it in the only way she understands down and dirty. She must have taken my warning very seriously and within those first two days there I had all of Daddy's mail forwarded to Joe, and had removed anything of value from his apartment and we have secured it and removed her name from everything. Some day she will get hers.

    Dad's pnomonia is a bit better but still not resolved. We have new doctors on his care and he is quality care. We are right ontop of everything happening and the new doctor stated he never should have been discharged to a rehab when he wasn't taking food by mouth, he wasn't happy. The paperwork can really be intimidating. So it will all be channeled here to me and then back to my brother and sister. And I promised Daddy I'd fly home in a few weeks. He will be in the hospital at least through the week and we will not take him back to that other rehab they are just not equipped to deal with his needs. So if he goes to a rehab for a while we have designated only one that we will accept, and they have to honor our wishes. The medical system and medicare can be very complex. They will push elderly patients out of the hospital really fast as we found out, just because of the insurance issues. I have the other insurance back in place retroactive to the dates of his services but I only had ten days to get that done and I arrived on day 7. We have toured rehabs and have decided there is only one that we feel will be appropriate for him. The feeding tube is keeping him nourished and medicating him much easier. His confusion comes and goes but at 80 years old the doctors say this is very normal with as much as he has gone through. His labs are still off some, he went so long without food his electrolights were a real mess but slowly coming back into line. It was terribly difficult to leave him today I visited him before I boarded my flight. So far the doctors tell us if they can get rid of this pnomonia, he can recover with some rehab.

    So that is the whole story. It has been a remarkable 2 weeks. All of the kids were sick, Audra was sick, I'm still sick with this cold. My tail bone is finally feeling a bit better but boy it was hurting for about five days. I was working there late one night after visiting Daddy, was painting the kitchen wall behind the stove, came up and caught the corner of the fan hood in my head. I went down to my knees. My sister checked me out, I had no ice in the house so we used a bottle of frozen gatoraid to keep the swelling down. rofl. Last night Paula moved the ladder with a hammer ontop. The frozen gatoraid was used again to keep the lump on her head from growing. We were all so tired we were just getting accident prone. That is when Joe said all work ends now. I'll do it throughout the winter or sooner if we need it. We all need a some rest. But of course we went to the hospital instead of going home to bed. The house issues will be handled through the next months and Joe will be spending lots of time there getting bathrooms plumbed in. So I'm not concerned. It is a great little neighborhood with good neighbors. I had a rough time being back in that house there were so many memories. It will be a good home for Joe and Mahala. Or Daddy and me if that is how this turns. Whatever happens it will be for the right reason. Daddy deserves it at this point in his life.

    Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayers.
     
  2. nieciez

    nieciez Guest

    Welcome home Judy....and please know we are all here for you keeping your Dad and you in our prayers.
     
  3. JANPEP

    JANPEP Guest

    Welcome Home!!!
    You were missed!!!
    Prayer's & good thought's are on the way from Mn. for your Dad & also for you.
    I hope thing's calm down in your life real soon.
     
  4. OMG! It reads like a awful soap opera,you poor thing,sounds like you are basically rebuilding that house from the ground up,and that nephew should be stringed and quartered,hope you are getting some of the damages back from him.

    Sounds like Dad is doing better,that is so good,its rough when the people that brought us up need us later in life,but its a never ending cycle and the way it should be,you are a good daughter,hugs on finding some rest and peace before you need to go back.
     
  5. Cruise cutie

    Cruise cutie Guest

    :wave hey Kiddo.. another easy road.NOT!!finally have a day off after another 5 day stretch.. welcome home your phone will be ringing...hugs Joanne
     
  6. popcorn

    popcorn Guest

    Welcome back. You have had quite a time but at least you got a lot resolved.

    Liz
     
  7. KathyC

    KathyC Guest

    You are sooo lucky to have a family that came together in a crisis; so often I hear stories of family bickering during such times. Sounds like you have things under control and so glad you have some new drs.
     
  8. TexasSue

    TexasSue Guest

    Lots of hugs and good thought coming your way. What a mess but I know from taking care of my Mom and whatever you have to end up doing in the end you will be so glad you did.
     
  9. bostongal

    bostongal Guest

    =hug Judy. Sounds like a tough time but I am happy that your family pulled together. Hope there are happier days ahead.

    Meg
     
  10. maw

    maw Guest

    Judy glad you have things under control. Went through some of this with Paw's moither and with my mother.. Bill's mother had a couple of young boys who were taking her to cleaners and living off her. She and my mom both lived over a 100 miles from us when they were widowed and I was keeping rod busy driving back and forth between there and home. Mother agreed to move near us. Bill's mom hung on until she had a bad stroke and nothing but nursing care would do for her. So wqew did bering her near us too. We visited the nursing home everynight and made surprise day visits regular to check on level of care.

    Judy hope all settles down for you soon and you and Mike can get on with your lives. Hugs.
     
  11. The Cruiser

    The Cruiser Guest

    Welcome Home BostonJ. You'll need a vacation once things have come down abit. Contuned prayers for your dad.
     
  12. conniecat

    conniecat Guest

    Welcome back! Wow, you sure have been through the ringer, haven't you? I hope it all works out for you. You really are a good daughter. Hugs to you, cc
     
  13. H2O babe

    H2O babe Guest

    Hugs and warm wishes coming your way BJ. You are certainly bearing some huge weights on those shoulders right now - may each day get a little easier for you and for your family. thank you for the update. Your cruise addicts friends care about you and we've been worried about you.

    K.
     
  14. reggae

    reggae Guest

    Judy, good to hear you are back home after two weeks of some very difficult times. It sounds like you really accomplished a lot, and good care for your Dad. It's also great news that your brothers and sisters helped out so much. I hope it all continues as planned and your Dad gets well soon :)
     
  15. Rubysky

    Rubysky Guest

    Welcome home for now.
    Prayers continue for your dad.
     
  16. Corky

    Corky Guest

    Hang in there, you are doing the right thing, taking care of your dad, and will never regret it. =hug
     
  17. audrey

    audrey Guest

    WELCOME HOME
    I know that you have been home for a few days but I just wanted to tell you prayers are with you and your family
     
  18. Mgram

    Mgram Guest

    Judy, sending good thoughts that everything works out for you and your Dad with the least amount of disruption to your life. It really makes the most sense that your brother and his wife move him in your house with them. As long as he is well taken care of, your need to make sure of his well-being would allow you to stay in CO........with maybe more frequent visits.

    Many hugs!
     
  19. Beryl

    Beryl Guest

    Sorry Judy.....responded to the other note before I read this one....that is what happens when you leave for a few days. At least my getaway was pure pleasure :grin! More =hug=hug=hug
     

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