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Joke--Don't take your man to WALMART!!!

B

Beryl

Guest
#1
DONT TAKE YOUR MAN TO WALMART

This is why women should not take men shopping
against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO.......... .

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
insisted her husband accompany her on her trips
to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like
most men--he found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately,
Mrs. Fenton was like most women-she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter
from her local Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban
both of you from the store.

Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2, July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her
in an Official voice, Code 3 in Housewares.
Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried
to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR"
sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could
help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera
and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his "Madonna look, "by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"


14. December 21: When an announcement came over
the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least....

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut
the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,
"Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.
 
B

Bobbie

Guest
#2
#1 and #2 are SO my husband!!! He does that all the time (#2 that is!). The last time he did it, he turned on ALL the musical teddy bears at once. =eek

I did as usual and pretended like I didn't know him while he died laughing. My sons were mortified as only teens can be, "There goes Dad again!" :lol :lol
 
S

Sailing_gal

Guest
#5
=huh My SOH thinks that he is never noticed when at the shop. A couple
are so like his behavior. LOL
 
M

maw

Guest
#6
I am the one who does not like to go to Walmart in our family except when I went shopping with DIL and great granddaughter. This maw had a great time turning on the singing stuffed animals all at same time. Ithink Ellie looks forward to this now .