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MIL going to nursing facility

Discussion in 'The Safe Harbor' started by Gramma Ann, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. Gramma Ann

    Gramma Ann Well-Known Member

    Mother-in-Law has deteriorated quickly. She will be going into the Nurseing/Rehab facility either today or tomorrow. We are sad, but also relieved. She had reached the abusive stage, and I was not able to take care of her and Oscar both. She is here in town, about 2 or 3 miles away, so we can get to her easily and often.

    Logan is going to miss her so much.
  2. popcorn

    popcorn Well-Known Member

    I know it is hard to let her go but she will be safe there.

  3. NiteStar

    NiteStar Well-Known Member

    I agree with popcorn....it is very hard to let her go.....but it's what is best for her and for you.
  4. KathyC

    KathyC Well-Known Member

    I know this was not an easy decision but she obviously needs more care than than you can give her and you also have to think of your own well being. Your heart doesn't want to let her go but your brain is telling you that it is the right thing to do.

    I had an elderly friend who suffered a severe stroke & was in a nursing home some yrs back. Her attorney appointed me to be in charge of all decisions regarding her well being so I placed her in the best nursing home in the area. I filled her room with many of her possesions from home, even a quilt for her bed so she was surrounded by her things. I also made sure that I did NOT have a set routine for my visits; I would pop in at all hrs of the day & night so her caregivers never knew when to expect me. I am happy to say that in all of my visits she was always well cared for.

    Your MIL will adjust to her new surroundings & with your visits, she will be fine.
  5. maw

    maw Wordsmith

    Aosorry she has deteriated to this degree. When Paw's mother was in nursing home I also dropped in all times a day sometines more than once. Always good to check on nursing home. i think the DON there dreaded to see me coming to her door. Wishing her comfort and rest for you and Ocscar.
  6. ewheelock

    ewheelock Well-Known Member

    I hope things go smoothly. I was lucky with my mom that she didn't have full blown alzheimers but she did have dememtia. She was never too abusive and was never with me. It is a hard decision but I am sure it is the right one!

  7. ShipMaven

    ShipMaven Forever Remembered

    I am very sorry to read this, but I'm sure you've made a wise, if difficult, decision. Sometimes we must realize that some situations have gone beyond our control to handle properly, for our loved one and ourselves. Your MIL, I'm sure, will receive proper care.

    God bless - you all are in my prayers.
  8. connie seabee

    connie seabee Well-Known Member Community Sponsor

    It's time when someone is in danger of hurting themselves or others. She will be safe and taken care of. Being she will be near, you can go often to check on her.
  9. nieciez

    nieciez Well-Known Member Community Sponsor

    Oh Ann, I am so sorry to hear your MIL has reached that stage. I know it must not be easy for you and Oscar but I am sure this is the best for both her and you. Our thoughts are with you all.
  10. Gramma Ann

    Gramma Ann Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your support. Yes, she will be taken good care of, and she at this point doesn't even know who is with her. Her other daughter-in-law came by and was so surprised at how fast she declined. They didn't get things arranged for today, so it will be tomorrow morning when the transport comes to move her.

    Once again, Thank you all.
  11. Mgram

    Mgram Well-Known Member

    As everyone has said.......it was the best decision for all of you. They are trained to deal with what comes their way. Glad you were able to get her into a place nearby so that you can visit often and keep them on their toes with her care.
  12. Cruise cutie

    Cruise cutie Well-Known Member

    Hugs Ann, as a Nurse in a long term facility I see your situation day to day..please know my prayers for all of you are heartfelt, and may you all take Joy in the good times you shared..it will be for the best, and may it also be you and Oscar get some hard earned serenity in your lives too..Blessings.. Joanne
  13. H2O babe

    H2O babe Well-Known Member

    I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. My 90 year old aunt (who was more like a mother to me than my biological mother) passed away last week and her nursing home staff was so good to her. Hugs to you.

  14. Whimsy

    Whimsy Well-Known Member

    We had to put my mom in a nursing home and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. She required more care than any of us could give, plus most of us worked outside the home. Like the others, I never had routine visits, they never knew when I might pop in and I do believe that keeps them on their toes. If I live to be 150 and I'll never forget that Christmas Eve I went to visit my mom and she didn't know who I was. I cry now just writing about that night. My biggest fear is putting my daughter thru the same someday.
  15. Corky

    Corky Well-Known Member

    Gramma Ann - I hope that your MIL is settling into her new home. (((HUGS)))
  16. Gramma Ann

    Gramma Ann Well-Known Member

    Thank you all. Yes she is settling in as much as is possible. She really doesnt know where she is exactly, doesn't know any of us some time, and sometimes responds to just me. Much of the time, she is basically just non responsive.

    Oscar slept nearly the entire day yesterday. The stress of not being able to help really took a toll on him.

    Once again, thank you all for being here for us.
  17. ShipMaven

    ShipMaven Forever Remembered

    Prayers for Oscar and you as well. I know it's heartbreaking and frustrating when you can only stand by helplessly.

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