Onward and hopefully upward



Hey all....... Work is busssyyyyy and we have had a few set backs with Daddy. Everything was going along well until Saturday when Daddy started to vomit. Well Paula found the bed down while he was on the G tube. So she immediately got the nurse and demanded to know why this keeps happening. She rattled some cages and Daddy seemed to be OK although Paula and Joe were watching him closely and asking about fevers etc., .

Sunday he had a better day and then on Monday morning he woke up fine, he was having a great day except it was an angry day for him. Paula went to see him at noon because he was yelling at the nurses, and he was once again ill. And the bed was down again while he was being feed with the G-tube. She immediately acted on it and of course we know that is why he was vomiting and they got him settled of course he stops eating by mouth, and then again that night Joe went in and his bed was down again. I flipped out when I heard that Daddy was sleeping allot and I became very concerned and expressed my feelings to my brother and sister that it is time to stop talking and demand corrections before someone kills him.

For those that do not know if you place a person flat while they have a G-tube with food going directly into the stomach the food backs up and is aspirated into the lungs or can be. I feel so helpless here. Joe is not feeling well himself so I gave up trying to talk to him and had a heart to heart with my sister. I begged her to please go higher in the chain to get this remedied. The nurses are not making this error, the aides are when they move him and change him, but the nurses are not catching it. So today Paula visited the Director of Nursing. I called and had Daddy on hourly lung checks all last night, and today I made a request for doctor check . Still I didn't sleep at all last night wishing I could sit by his bed and watch over him to make sure he was OK. He was checked over and so far so good nothing noted in the lungs, but we have been promised that he will be closely monitored for pneumonia. What I don't like is his lack of energy which is what I noticed in the initial stages of his original pneumonia. I'm pretty tuned into his problems now so being here is driving me nuts....... Tonight Paula said he ate a small amount. still not himself but better than yesterday. He can't take another bout of pneumonia this just needs to stop! At my company it is drilled into our heads how important we are to a grieving family. We have a creed which at any time we had better be able to recite, and we had better perform our jobs living that creed or be subject to dismissal. We are constantly reminded that we cannot become complacent, that we must treat every decedent with the respect that we would want displayed to our own sibling, or parent or grandparent. And we do. I only wish some of these nursing facilities trained their CNA's in this same philosophy.

The nursing supervisor was not happy to hear that the family is constantly finding this serious error which ahem, was not brought to her attention through reading his chart, even though Joe and Paula have reported it immediately to the nurses. The supervisor stated she would retrain any aide going into daddy's room about the dangers of their negligence and monitor his care herself. If this happens again, it won't be pretty because I'm going to be the one that is on the end of the phone and if I have to jump a plane and do it in person that could be even more scary. Tonight daddy showed Paula how he can lift his leg off the bed a few inches and he showed her how he can bend his knee. He has been ill so they haven't been working with him much. Tomorrow that is our task to get occupational therapy in there again.

Of course I haven't been sleeping well with all of this on my mind at night. I wish the news was better, but it seems we take a few baby steps and
then this serious error is made and we take a major step backward. This is 4 times that we know of.........it scares me to death! Dena quit smoking a week ago and is an absolute bear..........and I'm overtired and stressed.......it is a work in progress let me tell you. LOL We are right on main street and agreed to participate in the Halloween parade. We bought Candy for 2,000 kids and Dena told me to pick up some witches hats for us. Well she told me today she had to leave early Friday afternoon. And I said good that makes both of us because I'm on overtime by 8 hours so I'll just lock the door and turn the phones. She whipped around and looked at me and I said ohhhhhhh no you don't girlfriend, even though you don't need it, I bought you a witches hat, and the broom is in the closet so we do this together or not at all! LOL Then I told her if she leaves me alone I would rig a casket in the lobby to open when the door did and scare all the kids away. She said you wouldn't. I said don't test me! rofl OMG I'll go totally bonkers with 2,000 kids by myself. If our friendship lasts through the next 3 weeks we will be friends forever. I keep telling her this was not the right time for her to be so stupid and quit smoking, she laughs. Tomorrow she has a meeting in the morning, we have a rushed visitation in the afternoon which means I will have to do the set up, hair make-up retouch and flowers. I think it is time to ask for a big ole raise! I'm planning our Christmas Service sending out 200 invitations ordering refreshments etc, I just set up a new photo sharing process for our families, I am renting 2 vacant apartments above the mortuary, and trying to get repairs completed up there, and now the GM asked me to oversee some building construction changes we need to make. Oh yea I took 28 computer courses between last Wednesday and Sunday to get the first part of my in-house management degree program finished. If I finished before November 1st, I was promised a bonus. My plate is pretty full. And I haven't bought one Christmas Gift. This may be a year where the kids get presents and everyone else gets a gift card. I hate to do it but I'm running out of time.

Dena had a service on Monday with about 275 people which we moved to another venue because our chapel was too small. I took the smaller service which turned into a really big service of 200 people. My chapel seats 80 with overflow of 40 eiy yi yi. Then the minister en-route got stuck in traffic behind a fatal accident (this was for my service) and I had to make the announcement that he was delayed because of a serious accident on the roadway. This minister had to walk a 1/4 mile to reach the police officers and beg them to get him off onto a side road somewhere so that he could get to my service. They got him out of there thank goodness he was about 30 minutes late though. So I invited my 200 people to get up and walk around and go outside or enjoy a drink of water due to the unforeseen delay. Most filed out of my mortuary into the streets, and then when the minister arrived, I had to get them all back inside. That backed up the committal which backed up Dena's committal which was scheduled for an hour behind mine at the same cemetery. We held up traffic downtown for about 20 minutes getting the procession out shutting down the streets . We got through it all and both families were very pleased with our service. Neither service was easy they were both young people. I came home exhausted, called Sis, got the bad news about Daddy and threw a hissy fit. I don't generally do that but I was over the edge tired and got so frustrated. Mike just sat there and let me ramble and curse until I ran out of energy or swears. I don't know which happened first. LOL

The good news is that the bear I had sent to Daddy arrived that day. Paula arrived and Daddy said Paula what is that open it up for me. He never says please. LOL Paula said it is from Judy. He said no it isn't, it doesn't say Colorado on the box. Paula said that is because it was sent here, from a company,,,,,it is from Judy. I love it he remembers I'm from Colorado now. He looked at her, and in a way only he can make a point of being sarcastic, ,,, he asked her.... and howwwwwwww do you know that? And she said as sarcastically as she could muster beneath her snickers, because Judy called me and told me that she had sent it. Ohhh he said and smiled. Then he said it must be the citizen of the year award for me, and asked, what am I going to do with that? Paula said I'm putting it on the shelf right here so that when you look at it you will think about Judy and the deal you made with her about your exercise. OK he said and rolled his eyes. She told him to stop rolling his eyes stubborn old man that he is, and that the way he had been acting it certainly isn't any award for good behavior it is a warning shot that I'm following soon behind the bear! LOL She read him the letter I wrote and he asked when is she coming. Paula said 3 weeks so you had better get your act together and get working or you will be in big trouble! Yea I guess so, he said! Yes old man she said, you don't want Judy to be disappointed. Poor thing she is wearing down, she is tired. And I can't tell you how many times I have woken up in the morning and thought I need to go visit daddy before work. I'm all confused about where I am. LOL

So that is about it guys. Hopefully by the weekend he is up and attem again. He is alert and very conscious of time, date, events. Today he remembered it was his granddaughters 4th birthday. *My half-brothers daughter*. Goes to show you the difference in age from Dad's first family to his second huh? I have grandchildren the same age as my half-brother's daughter. In fact I think my half-brother and my daughter are the same age. LOL If there is anything positive to come out of this, I am feeling very good about his mind. I did have many reservations when I was there. I wasn't sure he would ever come fully back in that regard. It is clear now that much of his confusion was a chemical inbalance problem which with good nutrition we have gotten back into check. From all reports now he seems pretty sharp. We just need to trudge onward!

Thanks for all your prayers. I hope the next time I can bring you much better news.


Since the aides & nurses aren't paying attention to the bed/feeding tube, I would make a LARGE sign & have it posted above the bed so as to get everyone's attention on this matter. I told you before that I was in charge of a friend in a nursing home--a really excellent facility--but none the less, sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands to make sure your loved one is taken care of the way they should be. Good luck.


Good of you to post an up-date. What a hassle! If we are incapacitated, may we be able to recover in a place with Cruise Cuties standards of care! Take care and good luck!



Sorry Judy for the two steps forward and three steps back. It always seems to work that way, for some reason. Nurse Aides are hard to find and even then are only paid minumum wage, or close. The minute they find another job with a higher salary, they're gone, and they just don't get the training they need. We saw that with my dad all the time, as the faces changed each week, and I know how frustrated all of you are. Keep up the crusade, and don't hesitate to fuss. More prayers are headed your way.

H2O babe

My mantra for you BJ continues to be........."May tomorrow be a better day than today was".


Cruise cutie

=hugs Bunny Sistah.. I'll be ringing you before the weekend is over..keep the faith, and know prayers continue..:kisses to you and Tall Dude...:daisy....Joanne and Mark...


Well some good news. Yesterday Joe got a call from Social Services at the rehab to notify him that Daddy was being removed from PT for a while. Joe asked why and they said he refused every day this week. Well I guess Joe explained that was not going to happen, because Daddy had been sick at the hands of people caring for him and explained the situation. The woman in social service was very upset saying that is not in my notes. She then said she would call the Nursing Supervisor. Well the PT head is mad because he kept saying no and she said she didn't know about the feeding tube problems. No, because it wasn't being documented. But Dad just has been too sick since last Sat to do more than help get himself out of bed and sit. I guess there was a major meeting......one CNA actually blamed my dad when in fact the button is too stiff for him to push yet......so we got the attention of the staff finally!

Well we had a heart to heart. Me through Paula with Dad, the one good day he had this week. Dad said he just has been too sick. But we explained his apartment is only going to be held 3 months and we are going into that 3rd month and we expressed if you really do want to go home to your apartment we need to play catch up now. That seemed to turn his reluctance against, into.a strong desire for PT. He keeps asking Paula if he is going to make it in time not to lose the apartment. Paula tells him he has a month not to worry we will work on it for him, but work hard with PT so we have a target date. Now of course I know I came up with the only thing that I could think of *which is true BTW* and that was to hold that apartment as his reward for hard work. But I'm feeling terribly guilty about it because now he seems so worried. It was the straw that broke the camels back, but my guilt is now eating me up that I had to use that to get through to him. I want to protect him now after all he has been through , I don't want him fretting. But, we had reached a brick wall with him so I played my last card. Mike says I'm nuts to feel bad I should feel good. My father worrying doesn't feel good, but if it makes him work......

When Paula arrived at the rehab yesterday the buttons to adjust his bed had been taped to the wall. So in order for anyone to put his bed down you are going to have to work at it. They feel this will make people think.....There were lots of apologies and promises.

Yesterday and Today Daddy was outgoing, friendly talking up a storm, he was pleasant and cooperative. He also ate like a horse both days in fact asking for a snack mid-afternoon today. His nurse called Paula and said, now I know why you have been fighting so hard for him. He is a joy.

Anyway his feeding tube will be disconnected, not removed on Monday. All food and drink will be written down so that can monitor his intake. His occupational therapist is holding his case until we get the PT straightened out. And today Daddy told Paula he worked a little on his legs with the therapist. She wasn't able to get any information, the place was busy with Halloween. Daddy went to the Day Room today for several hours and had a blast. Trick or Treaters came in, little ones and gave all of the patients candy which was supplied by the rehab. The nurses said he seemed to enjoy the kids and was talking and enjoying all the attention. Tonight he ate a big meal and dessert. The OT had him working on eating by himself which he is doing much better with.

All in all knowing that tube is at least not going to be connected gives me great comfort. The nurse before going off for the weekend went in to talk to Daddy and tell him she would see him on Monday. He had quite the conversation with her and told her he needed more PT because he really wants to go home soon. He is now asking for PT which is great. She told him that one week ago she never would have believed that he ever could go home. She praised him for his turn around in attitude and said you look so much better and now, I believe why your children have fought so hard for you. You keep working and you will be going home. She told Paula his recovery is remarkable. He was thrilled to hear that from the nurse. They have all looked at the family like we were nuts that he could ever go home. They just had no idea how sick he was, even when he was moved from the hospital to the rehab. We had faith that he had hurdles but if he could get through the sickness, he was going to be OK.

So much of what has happened with Daddy has been trust. He has finally I pray given in to the theory that he needs to trust that we were trying to help him and that the nurses and therapists are also. I'm sure we can get the PT matter straightened out because he truly was pretty sick all week and none of it was his fault. And the feeding tube is turned down really low so now his appetite is back big time which is exactly what our plan was, and we only hoped we had the right instincts.

Thank you all....Daddy told Paula today I will be home soon and he knows I'll be visiting with him so maybe she should get some rest while I'm there. LOL He really is very much back and thinking about the future fingers crossed that this is the break we needed. He looks forward to the home cooked meals Paula brings each night. He said the food is like knawing on his right shoe that they cook there. LOL So onward and upward..... That tube has really upset Daddy, it saved his life but it has upset him. With it off he can rest better, and so can we instead of worrying about another incident!

Hugs to all who have kept him in your prayers!


Sounds like a real good report Judy so glad to hear better news abt your father. My best wishes will still be coming his way.


Such a great 2nd report after the disappointing 1st report. I'm glad your dad is feeling better and looking forward to going home.


Hey Thanks all. I have to run so just a quick update. Well the weekend crew managed to make yet another mistake with the bed. Daddy was sick all weekend. On Sunday night Paula finally said to the nurse I don't like the way he looks I want a chest x-ray. Sure enough he had a slight infiltration of the bottom of the left lung. Pneumonia. So he is on antibiotics now and the tube can't be removed because they are afraid he will get dehydrated.

He looked good last night. He ate like a horse and is asking for Paula to bring him snacks to have throughout the day by his bed. We haven't told him he has pneumonia because at this point is if a mild case and we were afraid to discourage him. He has begun his PT and is exercising his legs. Paula said he is quite proud of himself. The right leg is worse than the left but he has been given exercises to do while in bed too.

Today, needless to say since Paula got no where yesterday and then walked in and found the bed down yet again last night, I have a phone call to make to the nursing home administrator. I'm done fooling around! She has begun to take pictures of the bed down! This goes beyond extreme. We are working on getting that tube out. He needs to drink more fluids though before they will do it.

That's about it. We caught things quickly but once again nothing was being done until Paula started jumping up and down. I swear there has to be more nursing home oversight. I'm believing this happens more than less because of the shortage of staff.

Keep those prayers coming that this antibiotic doesn't mess with his mouth again. They are treating the mouth to try to stop it before it gets going.


What an ordeal your poor Dad has been through....keeping him in my thoughts and prayers Judy.