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We lost Daddy about an hour ago

Discussion in 'The Safe Harbor' started by BostonsJ, Nov 23, 2008.

  1. ShipMaven

    ShipMaven Guest


    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

    Mary Ann

    I’m Free

    Don’t grieve for me, for now
    I’m free. I’m following the path God has laid,
    you see. I took His hand when I heard Him call.
    I turned my back and left it all.
    I could not stay another day. To laugh, to love,
    to work or play. Tasks left undone must
    stay that way. I found that peace
    at the close of the day.
    If my parting has left a void, then fill it with
    remembered joys. A friendship shared, a laugh,
    a kiss. Oh yes, these things I too will miss.
    Be not burdened with times of sorrow. I wish you
    the sunshine of tomorrow. My life’s been
    full, I savored much. Good friends, good times,
    a loved one’s touch.
    Perhaps my time seemed all too brief. Don’t
    lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your
    hearts, and peace to thee!
    God wanted me now – He set me free!
  2. Beryl

    Beryl Guest

    Oh Judy...I am so sorry for your loss! My most sincere condolences to you and to the whole family who loved your Dad so very much. Support and love each other in your loss and you my girl be very gentle with yourself!!! =hug=hug=hug

    When my Dad passed away a number of years ago a very dear friend sent me this poem. I know that you are already familiar with it. It brought me great comfort in the days that passed after my own Daddy's death and I hope you will find some comfort in it too.

    “I am standing upon the seashore.
    A ship at my side spreads her white
    sails to the morning breeze and starts
    for the blue ocean.

    She is an object of beauty and strength.
    I stand and watch her until at length
    she hangs like a speck of white cloud
    just where the sea and sky come
    to mingle with each other.

    Then, someone at my side says;
    "There, she is gone!"

    "Gone where?"
    Gone from my sight. That is all.
    She is just as large in mast and hull
    and spar as she was when she left my side
    and she is just as able to bear her
    load of living freight to her destined port.
    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

    And just at the moment when someone
    at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
    There are other eyes watching her coming,
    and other voices ready to take up the glad
    "Here she comes!"
    And that is dying.â€Â
  3. Hooked

    Hooked Guest

    I was checking in to see how Mike was, and saw this. Sorry for your loss. ((((((((((((((((((((((Judy))))))))))))))))))))
  4. reggae

    reggae Guest

    Dear, dear Judy....I am so sorry to read about your Dad. He put up such a valiant fight, he was trying so hard to be strong. I'm sure he appreciated all of your efforts as well as your family....

    Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers, and may God put you at ease, and lessen your burden. You have truly endured your share..

    God bless, and take care of you and all of your family...
  5. KathyC

    KathyC Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss & although your heart is aching, you know he is in a better place. I can't begin to imagine how difficult these last wks have been with both your father & Mike being in crisis situations. We all have a major crisis as some point but most of us don't have them double on us like you have. After you get past the funeral & with Mike slowly recovering, I really think you need to treat yourself to a spa day just to help you de-stress after all you've been thru--you need some time for you--time to relax & time to be pampered by someone else--if anybody deserves it, it would be you so please try to take just a little bit of time for you & do it soon! Please know you are in my thoughts.
  6. Lisa63

    Lisa63 Guest

    Judy, I send my most sincere condolences to you and your family.

    This passage from our congregation's prayer book helped me tremendously (and still does) after the passing of a close friend earlier this year. We read it responsively in our Temple, yet I've read it numerous times by myself. I hope it brings you comfort, as well:

    We Remember (A Litany of Remembrance)

    In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we shall remember them.
    In the Blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we shall remember them.
    In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we shall remember them.
    In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we shall remember them.
    In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we shall remember them.
    When we are weary and in need of strength, we shall remember them.
    When we are lost and sick at heart, we shall remember them.
    When we have joys we yearn to share, we shall remember them.
    As long as we live, they shall live, for now they are an everlasting part of us. They shall be with us always and we shall remember them.

    ~ Rabbi Roland Gittelsohn
  7. BostonsJ

    BostonsJ Guest

    Thank you all. I'm trying to put myself back together here. I've spent my day planning the funeral. The kids are having a hard time second guessing their decision. They know they did the right thing, and it is very normal for them to feel this way. But it still will haunt them for a while. Paula is a real mess, she asked me what her purpose is in life now with Daddy gone. She woke up thinking Daddy was still with us and jumped up ready to visit with him. She has been a lifeline for Dad, I knew this would really hit her hard. And unfortunately because of the logistics of my older sister Patty and I getting there, we will bury Daddy on her birthday. We tried not to do that, at first she was near hysterical, but then she said it's OK Daddy will be giving me a gift.

    Mike woke up to find me in a mess. I had slept about an hour and my mother forgot about the time difference and woke me. Mike begged me to fly in and out on the day of the service at the very least. He said he couldn't live with himself knowing I was not able to be there to say my goodbyes and take care of my siblings. So a neighbor has agreed to keep in touch throughout the 24 hours I will be gone, and Mike made a promise to do the smart thing if he had any problems and dial 911. I arrive in Boston at 5am Saturday and fly out at 7pm. I know the kids are going to need me, and they have done so much in my absence I really need to be there now for them. I'm torn believe me.

    I'm on my way to the mortuary to put things together orderly for the kids. And to email them pictures etc., we have to make many decisions.

    Thank you all for your kind expressions of sympathy. Daddy is now OK. It is us that he left behind that are now hurting.
  8. Hooked

    Hooked Guest

    I'm glad Mike insisted on you flying home for the funeral. He'll be ok.
  9. Mgram

    Mgram Guest

    Judy, I am very glad that you will be to go home.......even for a few hours. Mike will do just fine. I think you can trust him to be smart now. Both of you will get through this.

    Safe journey..........you are still in our thoughts.
  10. audrey

    audrey Guest

    judy I am so sorry for your loss prayers go out to you and your family
  11. SandyBeach

    SandyBeach Guest

    Oh No! Oh Judy, I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all those he left behind.
  12. Rubysky

    Rubysky Guest

    Please accept my condolences.
  13. Lisa

    Lisa Guest

    My deepest sympathies, Judy, to you and all your family.
  14. popcorn

    popcorn Guest

    Safe trip. And hug those grandbabies extra hard. Mike will be okay.

  15. nieciez

    nieciez Guest

    Judy, I am so glad to hear you are getting to go home and say your good byes with your siblings even for this quick visit. I know Mike will do just fine and we will keep all of you in our prayers.
  16. maw

    maw Guest

    Judy glad that you will be able to be with family day of funereal. Paw and I were talking abt yu and Mike just this morning how hard all this is on you. Sending thughts of sympathy and wishes fr better health for Mike. Hugs. Such lovely group of poems.
  17. JANPEP

    JANPEP Guest

    Judy I'am so glad that you are going home, even if it is just for the day. Mike will be ok. Take care of you & have a safe trip.
    Prayers & good thoughts continue from MN.
  18. BostonsJ

    BostonsJ Guest

    Thank You all once again. We have all managed to pull ourselves together and plan the funeral. The kids all gathered at Paula's house and I called them from work with speaker from each end. Today they will take what I put together to the funeral home and it will be easy for them.

    After we planned the funeral Paula, Rob, Joe and spouses sat around telling all the funny stories Daddy had told to us over the years and about the funny jokes he played on us as kids. Daddy really had an outrageous sense of humor and boy could he tell stories. It was really good for the kids to do that and to remember Daddy in that way.

    Paula and I will deliver the eulogy. I have asked the kids to each send me three memories of Daddy that they want mentioned in it and then I will put it all together.

    They asked me to choose the music since I work with it so much. One of the Songs I picked was On the Wings of a Snow White Dove of course I had to cry through it 4 times before I could decided which Artist I wanted and then ordered it from Amazon.

    The visitation and service will be on Saturday. It will be a beautiful tribute to Daddy, with each of us lighting a candle for Dad. I have to admit it is much easier doing this for a family I am not a member of. But also a benefit because I can personalize the service.

    Thank you all. I need to go in and finishe up some things, clear my desk and then I have some Bereavement Leave which I can take. I guess I need to get both Mike and I ready for my trip and get ready for Thanksgiving since Mike isn't up to going out to dinner as we had planned.

    Mike actually is doing OK. I have asked him to call the doctor and have his lasix adjusted the fluid is almost all gone and I'm concerned about the amount he is taking. It should be titered down so that he doesn't lose too many lites....
  19. Cruise cutie

    Cruise cutie Guest

    Hello My Bunny Sister..hugs love, and check your real e-mail.Mark and I went there before opening @ddicts... prayers to you, and my Sweetie Michael..Joanne and Mark..
  20. Tobyn

    Tobyn Guest

    Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during your time of need. (((((Judy)))))

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