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We lost Linda this morning

Discussion in 'The Safe Harbor' started by JacquieP, Nov 19, 2008.

  1. JacquieP

    JacquieP Guest

    Some of you might remember that I asked for prayers for a co-worker this summer. Linda lost her fight with pancreatic cancer this morning and requested that her body be donated to one of our medical schools for study. She requested that there be a memorial service at the chapel at the hospital where we work, and didn't want a funeral, so that's what we're doing. She even planned the entire service, but she had lots more confidence in me than I have in myself, because she asked that I read Psalms 23. Any advice on how to maintain my composure while I do this? She also left a note to tell me to thank my Cruise Addict friends for all the prayers sent her way, so thanks everyone!
     
  2. mrsrocster

    mrsrocster Guest

    I'm so sorry to hear of her passing. I'm sure she saw a strength in you that you were not aware you have for her to select you to read Psalm 23. While I've not been in your position, I would like to think that if I had some tissues at hand, I would tell the audience something lighthearted about your friend and with a smile on your face begin the reading. If you need a break during the reading, take your break and no one will complain. If you feel you cannot complete the reading, have a plan 'B' in place for another person to take over if they can. My guess is you'll be able to complete the reading without needing any help at all.

    Its like the folks who sing at funerals. I guess they put themselves into a place where they know they have to 'perform' and they belt out the song without a tremor and its usually one of the best performances of their lives! I'm not saying that you have to 'perform', but if you try to put your mind to the fact that this is a proud moment that your friend entrusted you with, you'll do just fine.

    Oh, and take a deep breath before you begin and make sure to let it out!

    Perhaps if you can speak with a Clergy person, they can also advise you on getting through this very emotional time. Later, after you have healed from this sad time, I'm sure you'll look upon this moment as a very nice but somber, yet proud experience. Hopefully one, that later you can smile about and remember your friend in a very nice way.

    Take care,
    Michelle
     
  3. KathyC

    KathyC Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss; I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer.
     
  4. BostonsJ

    BostonsJ Guest

    Jacquie I'm so sorry. Planning her own Memorial Service showed how much strength she had, and that she had made her peace. It is always difficult for those left behind, but know if she did these things she was prepared for her life hereafter.

    When ever I speak at a loved one's funeral, I try to read my notes many times ahead of time. It usually means I have my breaking time before I present to the mourners. And a little share about the person makes your message so much more personal. You will be fine because Linda will be there watching over you. Hugs.
     
  5. ShipMaven

    ShipMaven Guest

    Jacquie - I am so sorry to read about the loss of your friend and co-worker. May Linda rest in peace, and may God comfort you and all her friends. Try to remember that she no longer is suffering.

    Sometimes, in moments of sorrow, strength comes to us out of nowhere. The 23rd Psalm is not very long - I would suggest that you read and re-read it a number of times so that its gentle words don't overwhelm you suddenly.

    {{HUGS}}

    Mary Ann

    The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
    He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.


    Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (or through the darkest valley),
    I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

    You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
    You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

    Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
    and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
     
  6. audrey

    audrey Guest

    I am sorry for you in the loss of your friend Linda mother inlaw planned her own funeral all we did was show up and do as she wished.
     
  7. MARIPOSA

    MARIPOSA Guest

    My dearest Jacquie, Honey, you didn't loose Linda, she just quietly slipped away to be the honored guest at the greatest homecoming that we could ever imagine possible. I have an idea that she chose you, her dear and faithful friend, to read one of her favorite passages because she wanted you to fully realize that she is now at peace and she wants you to be able to rejoice right along with her. As you all celebrate the joys of her lifetime just picture her smiling down at you, encouraging you to remember the best of times. FYI, at my Mom's memorial service there was far more laughter than tears because we spent that time sharing, honoring and treasuring her zest for life, love for her family and her greatest desire ~ to finally be home with her Lord.

    God bless you Jacquie
    Hugs, Mariposa
     
  8. nieciez

    nieciez Guest

    Jacquie, my deepest sympathy on the loss of your friend Linda....thoughts and prayers to you and all her friends and family.
     
  9. Lisa63

    Lisa63 Guest

    Jacquie, I send my sincere condolences on the passing of your friend, Linda.

    Having been in a similar situation six months ago, I can vouch for the excellent advice you've gotten in the posts so far. Talking to clergy is very helpful -- they have been thorugh this many times and know exactly what to say to put you at ease. Adding a personal touch prior to the reading is nice, also. Don't be concerned about keeping your composure. Just speak from the heart. And, as others have said, you will likely find the strength you need and will feel her by your side.

    Again, my thoughs and prayers are with you and all who were blessed to know Linda. She sounds like a remarkable person.

    Lisa63
     
  10. Corky

    Corky Guest

    My deepest sympathy to you in losing such a dear friend. May she rest in peace.
     
  11. debowah

    debowah Guest

    Condolences on your loss. May Linda rest in peace and may her family and friends be comforted by her memory.
     
  12. JANPEP

    JANPEP Guest

    Jacquie, my deepest sympathy goes out to you at this sad time. My prayers & good thoughts go out to you & to Linda & her family & your co-workers.
     
  13. maw

    maw Guest

    Jacquie so sorry t read of your friends death. She certainy had strength. I remember the night my best friend Virginia died from lung cancer. She asked me to come to her bed and climb up beside her she spent our last 10 minutes reassuring me. I think it is so good they are at peace and want us to be assured also.
     
  14. bostongal

    bostongal Guest

    I am so sorry to read of your friend's passing. I hope that you are able to read the Psalm without too much trouble - you've been given great advice above. I know that your friend Linda chose you to read because she knew that you could be strong. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and with Linda's friends and families.

    =hug

    Meg
     
  15. Whimsy

    Whimsy Guest

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. My DH's sister passed away from pancreatic cancer and also donated her body to science. It has been 10 years and I still miss her very much.
     
  16. Tobyn

    Tobyn Guest

    (((Jacquie))) (((Jacquie))) (((Jacquie))) (((Jacquie))) My sincerest condolences for your loss. I have faith in you to make Linda proud.
     
  17. reggae

    reggae Guest

    Such wonderful advice from all those above. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sure you'll do fine with your reading.

    God bless...
     
  18. Beryl

    Beryl Guest

    Oh Jacquie...I am so sorry for your loss! It is so hard to lose a friend...especially one who was a kindred spirit. As to the reading of the 23rd Psalm do not worry...you will find the strength...and if there are a few tears while you read that is okay too! =hug=hug=hug

    I haven't posted this for a long time but I am posting it again in hope that you will find some comfort in it.

    “I am standing upon the seashore.
    A ship at my side spreads her white
    sails to the morning breeze and starts
    for the blue ocean.

    She is an object of beauty and strength.
    I stand and watch her until at length
    she hangs like a speck of white cloud
    just where the sea and sky come
    to mingle with each other.

    Then, someone at my side says;
    "There, she is gone!"

    "Gone where?"
    Gone from my sight. That is all.
    She is just as large in mast and hull
    and spar as she was when she left my side
    and she is just as able to bear her
    load of living freight to her destined port.
    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

    And just at the moment when someone
    at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
    There are other eyes watching her coming,
    and other voices ready to take up the glad
    shout;
    "Here she comes!"
    And that is dying.â€Â
     
  19. The Cruiser

    The Cruiser Guest

    Jacquie, my condolences on the loss of your friend Linda.
     
  20. Cruise cutie

    Cruise cutie Guest

    Jacquie.. Bless you as you work through the pain of your loss.. she sounds quite the gal.. and may you have the joy of your friendship to sustain you during the hard times as you mourn.. hugs Joanne
     

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