Dismiss Notice
Hi Guest! Welcome to our forums!. We are glad you joined us. If you aren't a member already, please Sign Up! Today!

You got to love this doc....

Discussion in 'Community Message Board' started by r8derfan, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. r8derfan

    r8derfan Guest

    You got to love this doc....


    > Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular
    > exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats,
    > and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
    > Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
    > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
    > saying you can extend the life of your car by driving
    > it faster. Want to live longer? Take a
    > nap.
    >
    > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more
    > fruits and vegetables?
    > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
    > What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And
    > what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
    > nothing more than an efficient mechanism of
    > delivering vegetables to your system.
    > Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a
    > good
    > source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
    > And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
    > recommended daily allowance of vegetable
    > products.
    >
    > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from
    > fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
    > that means they take the water out of the fruity
    > bit so you get even more of the goodness that
    > way. Beer is also made out of grain.
    > So have a cup now and then!
    >
    > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    > A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat,
    > your ratio is one to one. If you have two
    > bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
    >
    > Q: What are some of the advantages of
    > participating in a regular exercise program?
    > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
    > philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
    >
    > Q:
    > Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    >
    > A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .....
    > Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
    > In fact, they're permeated in it. How
    > could getting more vegetables be bad for
    > you?
    >
    > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from
    > getting a little soft around
    > the middle?
    > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle,
    > it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups
    > if you want a bigger stomach.
    >
    > Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    > A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa
    > beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
    > feel-good food around!
    >
    > Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    > A: If swimming is good for your figure,
    > explain whales to me.
    >
    > Q: Is getting in shape important for my
    > lifestyle?
    > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
    >
    >
    > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions
    > you may have had about food and diets.
    >
    > And remember:
    > 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
    > with the intention of arriving safely in an
    > attractive and well preserved body, but rather
    > to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -
    > chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,
    > totally worn out and screaming 'WOO
    > HOO, What a Ride'
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > AND.....
    >
    > For those of you who watch what you eat, here's
    > the final word on nutrition and health. It's a
    > relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
    > nutritional studies.
    >
    > 1. The Japanese eat very little fat
    > and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
    >
    > 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
    > and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
    >
    > 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and
    > suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
    >
    > 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
    > and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
    >
    >
    > 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of
    > sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks
    > than Americans
    >
    > CONCLUSION
    >
    > Eat and drink what you
    > like.
    > Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
    >
    >
     
  2. Donna - dsw

    Donna - dsw Guest

    Yeap sounds good to me!
     
  3. Corky

    Corky Guest

    Sounds logical to me. :D
     
  4. J.E. M.

    J.E. M. Guest

    I like the drinking beer part.
     
  5. Calgon1

    Calgon1 Guest

    The man makes sense!
     

Share This Page