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You might be a school employee if...

T

tw1nk1es

Guest
#1
I found this in my inbox today at the end of a particularly difficult week :)

Jeff Foxworthy on Educators

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be
equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who
says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child
because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high
blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it
going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool'
should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils
will befall you if anyone says,
'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge
to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their
behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August
and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a
government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to
reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people
refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to
check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate
the UHAUL boxes should they decide to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available
in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee
if you can't imagine how the ACLU could
think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring
uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be
misunderstood by the public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly
answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a
parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that
matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for
this?' has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and
seconds are left in the school year!
 
C

Cruise cutie

Guest
#3
=yeah to Jeff Foxworthy..

.. and Jo you have my utter love , affection, and TOTAL understanding..DH Mark was a professor for years..almost SIL Steve IS a Professor, and DD Cynthia dated a teacher for a year..BOTH she and DD Jessica DO NOT suffer fools gladly and helped "correct" exams, and homework... and they would shriek ARE you KIDDING me??.. this is an *answer*.??.... blank papers turned in etc..it's unreal at family reunions for the ...... incredible amount of fodder that is generated!!.. and DS Vicki has 5 teachers at her family inlaws/outlaws reunions and we go to those too..

=lolgang.. so we are so TOTALLY in your range of planning...*sigh*.. and you wonder why not ONE of my 5 kids would take the teachers exam course in college..:cool:....

DS Stephen did "substitute teaching " for a job for his freshman year in college for extra money at his high school alma mater.. and that tore it.. he said NO way!!..

lesson learned.at the total IGNORANCE of the parents!!
as for my kids being teachers now....they'd sooner throw themselves under a bus...=eek...

Thanks for sharing!!....=hugs Joanne
 
L

Lisa63

Guest
#5
:thumb Jo!

This one's my favorite:
YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.'
DH changed careers a few years ago to become a high school teacher. He needs to be in by 7:00 and gets out at 3:00. My math tells me that this is the same amount of time as 9:00 to 5:00. He does admit the summers off are nice, but it's without pay and vacation costs jump considerably. Not that he complains about that, as he really enjoys his job.
 
T

tw1nk1es

Guest
#6
Ah Cruise Cutie,
You are so right! DS #4 thought that he wanted to be an English Literature prof. We sent him to visit a friend who is a history prof. the summer between his junior and senior year of HS. When he came home, he said there is NO WAY! He went on to major in computer engineering and now makes more money than DH and I put together. :lol
 
N

NiteStar

Guest
#7
My sister is a school teacher in Tyler, TX and I just forwarded this to her. She's gonna love it!
 
E

els689

Guest
#8
Being a teacher I've identified with many of those, especially at this time of year. LOL