Went to the Pub again last night.
There was this very BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, “Good legs.” The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
W. C. Fields
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
-- George Burns